Sorry i just had to get things out

I hate you. I try so hard just to let it all go and forget about it and carry on but you make that so hard for me. I thought being friends with you would be easier but i think not talking to you at all was. It still hurts a lot and I try very hard not to let it bother me but it does. And i get so upset and frustrated about it. And it hurts to see you talk to him the way you talked to me. Sometimes I cant help but miss you so much and i dont want to. I thought i was over it already and im trying to get over it but its hard. And it hurts that you dont understand how bad it is and you think its just that easy to get over you but its really not. I tried to be perfect for you and i tried to make you as happy as me. And then i go back and realize i was so fucking blind and how shitty you were to me yet i still thought you were perfect. How I kept trying to get you back because I didn’t want to lost you but you could careless if i was in your life or not. It was all a waste of time and it sucks because now im upset about it when i shouldnt be and i cant be happy even when i try. You ruined me. And you don’t even realize how much it hurts me. How much it kills me when ever i see something about you and him. I don’t know how else to let things out because i can’t even talk to you about this.